On Being Pretentious

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A few weeks ago I went to an event from a well-known organisation in the fashion industry. As I was walking into the auditorium where the event was taking place, the people before me in the queue started saying really loudly that they wouldn't seat anywhere else than on the first row because they must have had reserved seats for sure. I immediately thought to myself "how pretentious" and went to sit in the last row of the venue, as far away from them as possible. While observing their behaviour from the un-cool people's row, I couldn't help but wonder if they knew what being pretentious meant? Certainly, if they did, they wouldn't be behaving like that in the first place.

Being pretentious means to attempt to impress others by trying to show that one is more important or has more merit than one actually has. Basically, pretending to be something that you are not. So, if we all knew the meaning of the word, and we all knew that others know that when we are behaving like that it is because we are just trying really hard to look like something that we are not, then nobody would be pretentious.

Still, it is one of those behaviours that one witnesses regularly, not only in this industry but in society in general. Frankly, it looks exhausting. Living a life trying to always impress others so that you can feel good about yourself must take a lot of energy. An energy that could be used for being productive or to do some good, something that is really needed these days.

Photo credit: behind the scenes by Fabiola Bastianelli.

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Creativity And Ego Don't Mix

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A couple of nights ago, I went out for drinks with a group of photographer friends to catch up and to share our projects. At some point in the conversation, we started talking about inflated egos and we all agreed that something that we value in other people is humbleness. So why is it then that if so many people appreciate a humble person you find so much arrogance in our industry today?

I went jogging with another friend this morning, and out of the blue, they told me how much they liked humble people. So many people talking about humbleness seems to me like a reaction to the times that we are living. A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about people wanting "Truth", and with this series of conversations that I have been having lately, I realise that we are all just getting a bit fed up with all the falseness and the arrogance that surrounds us.

There is a documentaries series that I watch on Netflix called the "Chef's Table", where different chefs from around the world talk about their craft and their path. One of the episodes was on Jeong Kwan, a monk and a cook from South Korea, and during the interview she said: "Creativity and ego cannot go together. If you free yourself from the comparing and jealous mind, your creativity opens up endlessly." I couldn't agree more. I too believe that people with inflated egos are usually trying to hide something: they either feel insecure about their work, or they feel like they don't have a clue about what they are doing or what is expected of them. So they react in this arrogant way to avoid other people from finding out. And the thing with creativity is that, when you have your mind full of insecurities about you or your work, full of jealousy for the success of others, or even full of paranoia that everyone else is trying to steal your clients or copy your work, your creativity doesn't have a space to flourish.

Besides, being in constant fear and self-doubt has to be exhausting and, no matter how much you try to pretend, everyone else around you can tell. Well, almost everyone. There is a part of the population that enjoys a diva. But, from these conversations, I can see that the majority of people feel rejection towards arrogance and you don't want to be the creative that no one wants to work with. Not your clients, not your peers, not even your own team.

Self-confidence and humbleness for me go together. When you know where you are standing, and what your value is, there is no need to pretend. Everyone around you will see it. And if they don't, maybe it's time to reconsider your target.

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